By Dr. Paula Joyce, Ph.D.

Use Your Anger

If you find yourself feeling angry all the time, and then feeling guilty when you express your anger, you are not alone. An explosion of anger is occurring all over the world. We are seeing it in the news and in our personal lives with increased verbal and physical violence, bullying, chaos and fear. My clients are experiencing it and more people are seeking help with anger.

Many of us were taught that anger is bad and good people don’t get angry. We were supposed to control our emotions, not talk back to authority and be polite. Some of us experienced serious emotional or physical consequences for expressing our anger. The truth is that anger is just an emotion and when understood can actually help you grow and heal. If you have spent years keeping your anger under wraps, be aware that this leads to a buildup of stress that can cause anxiety disorders, depression or physical or mental illness. Your feelings are there for a reason. We are human beings and that means we feel fear, love, anger, jealousy, etc. If you haven’t been allowing yourself to feel your anger, you may be expressing it in unhealthy ways now.

Few of us were taught how to feel, process and let go of pain. As an adult, you can now choose to learn this skill. You must begin by not criticizing yourself for feeling anger. That’s what makes you human. Robots don’t feel. People do. The key is what you do with your anger. Do you hurt other people or do you recognize that the anger is a signal, announcing that you are not getting your needs met or you feel helpless or are afraid of being hurt? If you’ve had a lifetime of not being heard, feeling invisible or being punished for expressing yourself, your anger may explode when you first begin to feel it. When you can connect that deep well of anger to its source, you can begin to let it go and express yourself in healthier and healthier ways. If you use your anger appropriately, you can change your life.

Transform Your Anger Into Action

Is your anger constructive or destructive? Is this the person you’re really angry with or are they just convenient? Are you pulling out a laundry list of complaints or are you sticking to the immediate problem? Are you blasting the person’s character or are you speaking with strength and no malice? This is a process, not an event. Over time, you will learn how to stand up for yourself appropriately. I knew I had learned this lesson when the interactions started ending with shared laughter or someone saying to me: “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you initially” or “Thank you.”

If you are not being treated well, it’s an act of self-love to tell someone, even a boss, best-friend, child or spouse. If there’s a pattern of that person not listening to you, it may be a sign that you are in an unhealthy relationship. You can’t make someone treat you well, but you can turn your anger into action and leave or set boundaries.

Techniques for Protection and Healing Anger

• In these troubling times, you can help protect yourself from other people’s anger by imagining yourself being surrounded in silver light. Do this every morning, and during the day as you feel the need.
• Rose quartz will help you heal the source of your anger in a gentle way. Wear a piece of rose quartz jewelry or carry a small piece with you in your pocket or purse.
• Take a deep breath and imagine yourself being filled with pink light from the loving energy in the Universe. This will help you dissipate the anger.

For more tips on dealing with your anger in a productive and positive way,
check out these past episodes of Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit:

• December 29, 2016- Guest: Robert Meeropol- “Turn Anger Into Action”
• July 29, 2016- Guest: Dr. Bernard Golden- “Overcoming Destructive Anger”
• May 3, 2018- Guest: Dean Sluyter- “Fear Less: Living Beyond Fear, Anxiety, Anger, and Addiction”
• January 17, 2019- Guest: Alice Rosen- “Choose Words and Actions Carefully to Make 2019 Your Best Year”

Dr. Paula, The Life Doctor, has helped hundreds of thousands of people improve their health, wealth and relationships through her writing, coaching, and speaking. Contact her today to get started on your journey. Recently Dr. Paula Joyce, PhD was chosen by Expertise as one of the 16 Best Life Coaches in Dallas.

Blessings,

Dr. Paula Joyce, The Life Doctor

Personal, Business, and Spiritual Transformation Coach
Email- drpaula@drpaulajoyce.com
Office Phone- 972.788.2393
To learn more, please visit my website-www.drpaulajoyce.com
To hear more shows from Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit-CLICK HERE

By Dr. Paula Joyce, Ph.D.

Letting go of the guilt we all carry is difficult, but important. None of us are perfect. We all do and say things we wish we hadn’t. Some are more serious than others and may cause a greater pang of guilt. When we hang onto the guilt, we become our own jailer. It’s as if we’ve sentenced ourselves to a lifetime of pain without the possibility of parole. The key to letting ourselves out of jail is self-forgiveness.

Guilt is designed to teach us, to help us become more ethical, compassionate, empathetic and loving human beings. It’s a signal, pointing out that we may not have been our best self when we said or did a particular thing. The healthy use of guilt is to examine what we did, self-correct in the moment if we can or determine how we will do it differently next time, sincerely apologize when appropriate, forgive ourselves and go on with our day. Where most of us get caught is in the inability to forgive ourselves. We replay the experience over and over again in our minds, punishing ourselves with what we consider to be our stupidity. We hold on to it, usually building it way out of proportion. Other people have moved on and we’re stuck in the muck.

One of my radio show guests, Lynn Russell, studied 2500 near-death experiences. Her most important discovery was surprising. There is no Hell in the after-life—except that created through one’s own guilt. Likewise, when we constantly relive our guilt here, we create our own hell on earth and destroy our joy. Focusing on what we did wrong in the past, leaves us unable to appreciate the present and extract the beauty of the Now.

Techniques for Letting Go of Guilt

• Use the concept of the serenity prayer. If you can do something about it, do it. If you can’t do anything about it, accept it and learn for the next time.
• Realize the truth of our existence. We are here to learn and grow as human beings and souls. Focus on the learning and growth rather than eating up your energy with self-blame.
• Forgive yourself. You can see yourself as a younger person. Even if the incident just happened 5 seconds ago, you are now older and wiser as a result of seeing where you still need to grow.
• Be kind to yourself. The kind voice is the voice of love, the energy of the Divine. Literally erase the critical words that are repeating in your mind and replace them with healing words that feel authentic to you. Some examples might be: “I’m always learning.” “I did better this time than the last time I was in a similar situation.” “I’m proud of myself for …”
• Fill yourself with love from the Divine and it will force out the guilt. Breathe in white light and feel it filling your entire being. Breath is connected to your soul. Use it to fill with positivity.
• Let the guilt pass through you and into the ground. Research shows that if you wait 90 seconds, the negative feelings will pass.
• I use this technique every morning to help me release past guilt and other negative emotions and to avoid holding onto negativity as it occurs throughout the day. This will help you heal, balance and stabilize your emotions: “I ask the Universal Pink Heart of Love to surround me, the Universal Turquoise Heart of Love to surround the pink heart and the Universal White Heart of Love to surround both and that a gold cord go from the bottom of my heart chakra into the center of the earth.” The Universal Heart of Love in various colors is extremely powerful because it is pure love. Where there is love, no fear, stress, anxiety, guilt or any other negative emotion can exist.
• Be conscious of whether you’re feeling guilty for something that you need to correct or because of false beliefs. Sometimes we’ve been taught other people are more important than we are. This is not true. If you enjoy giving to others, that’s great. Just remember: If the well is dry, you have nothing to give. Relationships should be balanced, with people both giving and receiving.

As always, be patient with yourself. This is a process, not an event.

Remember, You Are Loved.

For more tips on turning guilt and adversity into joy, check out these past episodes of Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit:

• October 17, 2019- Guest: Maureen St. Germain- Heaven on Earth: Love, Joy, Harmony and Happiness
• September 27, 2018- Guest: Amy Leigh Mercree- Compassion, Including Self-Compassion, Brings Peace, Joy, and Happiness
• May 4, 2017- Guest: Atherton Drenth- Stop The Negative Voices and Find Inner Peace
• November 10, 2016- Guest: Sam Bennet- You Don’t Have To Be Perfect

Dr. Paula, The Life Doctor, has helped hundreds of thousands of people improve their health, wealth and relationships through her writing, coaching, and speaking. Contact her today to get started on your journey. Recently Dr. Paula Joyce, PhD was chosen by Expertise as one of the 16 Best Life Coaches in Dallas.

Blessings,

Dr. Paula Joyce, The Life Doctor

Personal, Business, and Spiritual Transformation Coach
Email- drpaula@drpaulajoyce.com
Office Phone- 972.788.2393
To learn more, please visit my website-www.drpaulajoyce.com
To hear more shows from Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit-CLICK HERE

By Dr. Paula Joyce, Ph.D.

If you find yourself sleeping really well some nights, but having other nights where you wake up repeatedly, you may be experiencing segmented sleep, which was actually normal until we had artificial light. Our society has made sleep into a problem. We feel guilty and anxious if we don’t sleep through the night and get our prescribed 8 hours. That creates stress hormones, making it harder to fall back asleep. In desperation, many of us turn to pills, which can create more damage than lack of sleep.

Once you understand that this pattern is normal, it takes away the feeling that there’s something wrong with you. Rather than worrying about the number of hours you’re sleeping, pay attention to how you feel and what is going on in your life and in the world.

Many of us are experiencing major spiritual changes in our energy. Collectively we are in the process of a spiritual awakening, a shift into a higher level of consciousness. The night time is when the spiritual realm is the most active, starting around 3 a.m. This can cause us to wake up because we sense something is happening. During some of these more intense periods, I need more or less sleep depending on my internal system. And that’s the key. You are not an average. You are a unique individual with your own unique needs.

The increase in violence and hatred along with personal change, worries, dreams or creative ideas can also wake us up at night. Ignoring what wakes us up will prevent sleep. Instead, write down your feelings, thoughts, dreams and ideas. If your problems are overwhelming, seek help. Peace of mind will help you sleep better.

Less Known Ways to Improve Sleep

• Take a cold shower before bed and sleep naked in a cold room, around 65 degrees
• Drink 1 oz of cherry juice twice a day for natural melatonin
• Choose your sheet and pillow case colors with their vibration in mind: pink is emotionally healing and blue is mentally healing
• Use a lavender scented yoga eye pillow to cancel out light and calm you
• Clear the negative energy in your home with a sage oil spray
• Magnesium, bananas, almonds, chamomile tea before bed help calm your system
• Avoid alcohol, sugary foods and caffeine in the evening
• Avoid the news and upsetting movies before bed
• Keep electronic devices at least 3 feet away from your bed

What To Do When You Wake Up During The Night

• Remind yourself: this is normal
• Write down your worries, dreams, ideas, feelings
• Make a gratitude list in your head or on paper
• Listen to sleep music—there are many instrumentals for sleep on YouTube
• Pray, meditate, chant, do progressive relaxation, read, perform a ritual
• Breathe in pink light for emotional peace and blue light for mental peace
• Imagine that whoever sang you to sleep as a child is doing so now; or if it’s in your belief system, ask their spirit to sing to you.
• Breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, breathe out through your mouth for 8 seconds. Repeat this until you fall asleep.
• If you’re agitated, walk the stairs or just walk around your home
• Put a grounding crystal like black tourmaline under your pillow or wear it
• Pick a Tarot or Archangel Oracle Card for insight and comfort
• Shaman Robert Moss told my radio show listeners that he uses the time to walk his dogs or write his books
• This mantra is especially good because it takes away the power of fear: “Love is the beginning and endless end. You are love as you are loved. All is love as all is loved.”

Be gentle with yourself. This is a process, not an event. Remember, You Are Loved, All is Loved.

For more tips on relaxation and achieving peace, check out some of these past shows from Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit: March 24, 2016- David Bookbinder- Adult Coloring Books for Fun, Relaxation and Healing

• March 24, 2016- David Bookbinder- Adult Coloring Books for Fun, Relaxation and Healing
• December 14, 2017- Jason Gregory- Breathe Your Way to Peace and Freedom
• September 27, 2018- Amy Leigh Mercree- Compassion, Including Self-Compassion, Brings Peace, Joy, and Happiness

Dr. Paula, The Life Doctor, has helped hundreds of thousands of people improve their health, wealth and relationships through her writing, coaching, and speaking. Contact her today to get started on your journey. Recently Dr. Paula Joyce, PhD was chosen by Expertise as one of the 16 Best Life Coaches in Dallas.

Blessings,

Dr. Paula Joyce, The Life Doctor

Personal, Business, and Spiritual Transformation Coach
Email- drpaula@drpaulajoyce.com
Office Phone- 972.788.2393
To learn more, please visit my website-www.drpaulajoyce.com
To hear more shows from Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit-CLICK HERE

By Dr. Paula Joyce, Ph.D.

Everything vibrates at its own frequency. Lower frequencies include fear, anxiety, and panic. Higher frequencies are ones of love, peace, and gratitude. When we bring our thoughts and feelings to love or gratitude, we replace our anxiety with peace. Here are some effective techniques to help you achieve this:

• Create this image in your mind or put it on a piece of paper that you keep handy: a pink heart with a rainbow inside surrounded completely by gold dots. The gold is Universal healing energy and the heart and rainbow are Universal love. Just looking at this image will relieve your anxiety and panic attacks.
• For optimum benefit, use this technique every morning upon waking, every night before going to sleep, and when needed in the moment. It will help you release past negative emotions, avoid holding on to negativity as it occurs throughout the day, and help you heal, balance, and stabilize your emotions. If you’re able to visualize things in your mind, do so while you’re saying this. If you can’t, simply saying the words is sufficient. Say out loud or in a whisper: “I ask the Universal Pink Heart of Love to surround me, the Universal Turquoise Heart of Love to surround the Pink Heart of Love and the Universal White Heart of Love to surround both hearts, and I ask that a gold cord go from the bottom of my heart chakra into the center of the earth.” The gold cord releases the negative emotions into the earth for transformation, and the Universal Heart of Love is pure love sending healing energy to you. Where there is love, no fear, anxiety, panic, or any other negative emotion can exist.
• Use this to help you fall asleep, in the middle of the night, in the morning or when you are experiencing fear, anxiety, or panic. If you do it consistently, it will become an automatic internal response. You will hear yourself thinking it when you need calming, even when you don’t make a conscious effort. Say this over and over again in your mind: “Peace in my mind. Peace in my body. Peace in my spirit. Peace in my soul.”
• Visualize a rainbow with silver sparkles in it or draw it and carry it with you. Just looking at it will remove fear and anxiety and replace it with love. The rainbow is Universal love and the color silver provides protection from negative forces.
• Imagine that pink light is coming from the heavens and going to the top of your head. Breathe that pink light into your body and see it (or just know it is) going through the top of your head and filling your body. Do this several times. Pink is emotionally healing.
• Take a walk in nature and feel the love from the plants, trees, birds, and all of nature filling you and caressing you. Even using a screen saver of nature will reduce your stress by 10%.
• Bring your thoughts to someone or something that makes you happy or grateful and reminds you of all of the love available to you when you choose to focus on it. Fill yourself with this love. It will replace the fear, anxiety, and panic with love and peace.
• Pet a beloved animal, hug someone or hug yourself. Allow yourself to feel the love being transmitted and shared. Where there is love, there can be no anxiety.

Transforming anxiety is a process, not an event. Love yourself along the way. Celebrate your progress. Every victory is a success to be noted and honored. You can even keep a success journal to remind yourself of how well you’re doing.

For more information, tips, and inspiration on transforming fear, anxiety, and panic attacks to peace, please visit my past radio shows on Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit. Below, are a few that are particularly applicable:

• “Freedom From Panic, Anxiety, and Claustrophobia in Just 10 Days” with Tom Bunn- originally aired 05-02-19- CLICK HERE TO LISTEN
• “Healing Mind and Heart: Relieve PTSD, Depression, Anxiety” with Dan Willis- originally aired 10-31-19- CLICK HERE TO LISTEN
• “Fear Less: Living Beyond Fear, Anxiety, Anger, and Addiction” with Dean Sluyter- originally aired 05-03-18- CLICK HERE TO LISTEN
• “Healing Anxiety and Depression with the Creative Process” with Cathy Wild- originally aired on 09-20-18- CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Dr. Paula, The Life Doctor, has helped hundreds of thousands of people improve their health, wealth and relationships through her writing, coaching, and speaking. Contact her today to get started on your journey. Recently Dr. Paula Joyce, PhD was chosen by Expertise as one of the 16 Best Life Coaches in Dallas.

Blessings,

Dr. Paula Joyce, The Life Doctor

Personal, Business, and Spiritual Transformation Coach
Email- drpaula@drpaulajoyce.com
Office Phone- 972.788.2393
To learn more, please visit my website- www.drpaulajoyce.com
To hear more shows from Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit- CLICK HERE

By Dr. Paula Joyce, Ph.D.

The Stats and What They Mean for Us

Did you know that on average, 80% of our thoughts are negative, and, even worse, 90% of our thoughts about ourselves are negative?  Would you believe me if I told you that we worry 1 to 8 hours a day? Are you surprised to hear that most heart attacks occur Sunday night due to worry about work? You all probably know this to be true from firsthand experience, as do I. The sad thing is, though, that only 8% of what we worry about actually happens. Negative thoughts eat up our time, energy, health and self-esteem spreading negativity to others. We must discover new ways of thinking and focus on hope and silver linings. Our lives and peace depend on it.

Silver Linings in Action

I will give you a real life example of how focusing on hope and finding silver linings in every situation, even the worst ones, can turn your life around. I had a coaching client who was worried about workplace changes that would soon leave him without a job. Loss of a job can trigger fear, or it can be an opportunity to reassess: Who am I now? What do I want now? What will bring me joy now? My client has shown himself to be capable of profound change. In just under three years, he has gone from living in his parent’s home and helping them pay their mortgage to living independently to sharing an apartment with his girlfriend; from parking cars at minimum wage to actualizing his childhood dream of selling cars; and from being home schooled in a socially and academically limiting environment to being comfortable with his coworkers, mentored by his boss and chosen to participate in a special training, which required him to attend a week-long class with a teacher, strangers, and homework for the first time in his life. He has even been exploring his creativity through writing, painting and playing guitar.

His self-confidence, self-esteem, aspirations, and understanding of his capabilities keep changing as he allows himself to explore his talents, skills, and desires. What could have been a terrible situation, ended up being the catalyst for him to change his life for the better in more areas than just one. Through this process of finding the silver lining, he was able to hear his inner wisdom and reaffirm his self-confidence, knowing that, as in the past, he will continue to create a better life for himself moving deeper into who he really is and what will truly bring him joy.

There is Always Hope

No matter what is going on in your life or in the world, you can always find something for which to be grateful. Happiness is the result of how we think about our circumstances and not what our circumstances are. When we focus on the negative, that’s all we see, and we miss the amazing things that are good in our lives. I’ve learned to notice what I wish were different but not dwell on it. I no longer get stuck in the pain and drama. Instead I keep my attention on the good things, the things that make me smile and bring me joy and hope. From that place of gratitude and happiness, it’s easy to bring in more of the same so that the good things keep multiplying. When something is especially challenging, I focus on what I am learning and how I am growing in wisdom, knowledge, strength, patience, compassion, empathy and/or love, including self-love. There is always something for which to be grateful.

This positive approach to life is especially important from now through the end of 2020. Since 2020 is a year of choice, what we choose now will affect us throughout the entire year.

If this message speaks to you and you would like to set a positive energy for 2020, click here to learn more. Remember to register to guarantee your spot at this special event.
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Past episodes of Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit are always available on-demand. To catch up on any of my radio shows you may have missed out on, click here.

Dr. Paula, The Life Doctor, has helped hundreds of thousands of people improve their health, wealth and relationships through her writing, coaching, and speaking. Contact her today to get started on your journey. Recently Dr. Paula Joyce, PhD was chosen by Expertise as one of the 16 Best Life Coaches in Dallas.

Blessings,

Dr. Paula Joyce, The Life Doctor

• Personal, Business, and Spiritual Transformation Coach
• Email- drpaula@drpaulajoyce.com
• Office Phone- 972.788.2393
• To learn more, please visit my website- www.drpaulajoyce.com
• To hear more shows from Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit- CLICK HERE

Lifestyle: A coaching client was worried about workplace changes that will soon leave him without a job. Loss of a job can trigger fear, or it can be an opportunity to reassess: Who am I now? What do I want now? What will bring me joy now? My client has shown himself to be capable of profound change. In just under three years, he has gone from living in his parent’s home and helping them pay their mortgage to living independently to sharing an apartment with his girlfriend; from parking cars at minimum wage to actualizing his childhood dream of selling cars; and from being home schooled in a socially and academically limiting environment to being comfortable with his coworkers, mentored by his boss and chosen to participate in a special training, which required him to attend a week-long class with a teacher, strangers, and homework for the first time in his life. He has even been exploring his creativity through writing, painting and playing guitar. His self-confidence, self-esteem, aspirations, and understanding of his capabilities keep changing as he allows himself to explore his talents, skills, and desires.

Hearing His Inner Wisdom: What brought him joy a year ago may or may not be his best choice now. To look deeper within himself for some answers, we used my Ultimate Creative Problem Solving Process. He worked with the crayons to discover the hidden blocks to his being able to get a job that meets his financial and personal needs, and drew what looked initially like scribbling. As I looked more closely, I saw a top row of a series of faces and a bottom row with a series of heads with no facial features and with him calmly situated in the middle. People were changing, but he was stable, centered and doing fine. More was revealed when he described the shape at the bottom of his drawing as a fox. The fox is a spirit guide representing the magic of camouflage, shapeshifting, invisibility and positive outcomes through creativity. His unconscious mind was telling him through the symbol of the fox that he is creating a new world that is growing and shapeshifting into new positive patterns, just like the faces in his drawing were shapeshifting. If he focuses on his creative energies, he will succeed at anything he chooses. The words that he wrote confirmed his drawing: “Be You. Believe in you. You can do it.” Even the colors he chose for his writing and drawing amplified the message. He used red, which is the color of the first chakra, the place of action and of the kundalini, which is the creative life force; and yellow which is the color of the third chakra, which holds fear and also the higher self. The message is that the fear is being pushed aside by the wisdom of the higher self, which is saying “Be You. Believe in you. You can do it.” Through this process, he was able to hear his inner wisdom and reaffirm his self-confidence, knowing that, as in the past, he will continue to create a better life for himself moving deeper into who he really is and what will truly bring him joy.

For more on Turning Adversity into Success, listen to some of my Radio Shows onUplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spiritlike these:

• Inner Peace is Unstoppable with Corinne Zupko on March 15, 2018
• Using Adversity to Strengthen Relationships with Tracie Stafford on September 28, 2017
• Limitless Possibility with Tracie Stafford on September 28, 2017
• The Power of Writing Our Personal Stories to Heal, Grow, and Transform Our Lives with Sandra Marinella on June 8, 2017
• A Role Model of Self-Defined Womanhood: Claire Myers Owens with Dr. Miriam Friedman on April 11, 2019

FREE CHAPTER, THE ULTIMATE CREATIVE PROBLEM-SOLVING PROCESS, FROM MY BEST-SELLING BOOK, NOTHING BUT NET

To learn more about my unique process that removes hidden blockages, helps you solve your most challenging problems, and achieve success with ease and speed, sign up for my email list and receive the chapter free: sign up hereCONTACT DR. PAULA TO SCHEDULE YOUR COMPLEMENTARY10 MINUTE PHONE CONSULTATION

Dr. Paula, The Life Doctor, has helped hundreds of thousands of people improve their health, wealth and relationships through her writing, coaching, and speaking. Contact her today to get started on your journey. Recently Dr. Paula Joyce, PhD was chosen by Expertise as one of the 16 Best Life Coaches in Dallas. Personal, Business, and Spiritual Transformation Coach Cell: 214.208.3533 Email:  drpaula@drpaulajoyce.com To learn more about Dr. Paula, please visit her website at www.drpaulajoyce.com. To hear more shows from Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit, please click here.

It was a delight to talk with John in a recent episode of my radio show, Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit. He spoke beautifully about the ideas in The Recipe, which he co-authored with Chef Charles Carroll. Their book is so powerful that there will soon be a movie about it. I look forward to seeing it. John began our conversation by building on the ideas I presented in the beginning part of the show by saying people in the United States are losing our civility and brotherhood. The good news is that we do have the ability to transform what is happening in our nation into love. He encouraged everyone to call their elected representatives and voice their opinion. These ideas are very much in keeping with the rules for living presented in The Recipe. To share a few quotes: “Make the world a better place with everything you do;” “Live with honor: treat every person with respect, and never forget who you’re serving;” and “Compose your life: put your effort into controlling the sail, not the wind.” John also shared some wisdom he has gleaned in his own life: have fun; remember, like billiards, what you do impacts other people; and you have a choice as to how you respond even when it is something emotional. He suggests that we stop, take a breath and be larger than the emotion. Through mindfulness, he taught himself to be kind instead of angry. In his current marriage, he follows one of the chef’s rules of the kitchen, “Pay attention to the little things” and brings his wife a cup of tea every morning. And that’s how you spread love. Everything matters. To listen to this show, I encourage you to click here.

Dr. Paula’s Tip of the Week

My Tip from my e-book, 33 Tips for Self-Empowerment is: “Discover Your Creativity. You can reconnect with your Higher Self by discovering what form of creativity gives you joy. Explore writing, dance, music and art. Create just for your own pleasure, self-expression and self-discovery. If you are concerned about people criticizing you, keep your creative explorations to yourself.” Owen, the young boy in The Recipe, accidentally stumbles upon his creative gift; or if you’re looking at it from a spiritual perspective, he was guided to the Chef who helped change his life. As the story unfolds, we learn the source of his gift. The creative expression of his soul helps Owen heal and find purpose, meaning and joy, which is exactly what it can do for all of us.

Dr. Paula’s Silver Lining Story

Recently in my Facebook posts, I have been more outspoken about my concerns over the inhumane treatment of people seeking asylum in the United States, the eroding of civil rights for all US citizens, the disrespect for our environment and animals, and the increasing threat of nuclear war. Many of my posts have been merely to share facts. So many laws are being repealed and so many governmental actions taken that a lot of it is not being reported. When people ask why I’m sharing this information, I say: we must know the truth of what is happening in our own country. Ignorance is not acceptable. We can’t form an opinion if we don’t have the facts. I want to make sure everyone has the facts. Unfortunately we are being distracted by our president’s tweets, arguments and chaos so that people are not getting all of the information. Even if they’re trying, it’s hard to know what is made up. I even heard one program with several journalists discussing whether our president was intentionally lying to us or just didn’t know the truth. That such a question is even being asked is disturbing and reminiscent of Watergate and the impeachment of Richard Nixon. As a result of my new posts, I’ve had some people writing vicious comments about me and what I’m sharing. I responded by saying: “Because of his abusive posts, I blocked Robert from my page and also deleted most of his comments since they were so offensive and angry. I believe in open communication in a civil and respectful manner. When people violate those boundaries, I delete their posts and block them from my page. I do this for all of us who want Facebook to be a safe place to communicate.” My silver lining came in the form of a number of people who thanked me, liked my comment and shared it. One person wrote: “Thank you for being such an example of a kind person with strong boundaries.” This shows me people are getting tired of the verbal violence. We can’t all agree, but we can treat others the way we wish to be treated. We can be civil and communicate with respect and a willingness to hear and be heard.

Marian Stephens’ Story

This week’s episode of Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit featured John David Mann, and he was a font of wisdom and inspiration. His book is a beautiful story that is really a handbook on how to live. Dr. Paula asks listeners how they can turn their anger and frustration into righteous indignation. This is a powerful tool that I am using, and I am beginning to feel my anger dissipate and vanish. I was experiencing an overwhelming bout of anger towards my oldest son, and it came to me that I am just shouting into a void; my anger and words are vanishing into the ether unresolved. I realize what I am grappling with is the loss of my relationship with my son, the loss of my vision and expectations of what motherhood was going to be, and the loss of my dream of who I would be at age 42. How do I come to terms with this? Mr. Mann’s book focuses on how to deal with loss and the anger one feels when trying to do so. Having a mentor is key and finding how to be that mentor for yourself. I am lucky that Dr. Paula is my mentor, and she is teaching me how to be my own. I will turn my anger into righteous indignation by focusing energy on healing myself and taking back control of my life. I am indignant that I have encountered abuse and disease, and I will no longer accept this to be my reality.

John David Mann says that we can transform our nation into a place of love and greatness.  When I heard Mr. Mann say, “loss is a beginning not an ending”, it is the first time I truly believed that this place in life is a place to start. He says that who we are is shaped by the things that happen to us and the things that are happening around us. I have experienced traumatic events and illness that have changed my circumstances significantly. I am using these happenings as a springboard to become more resilient, courageous, and creative. My default emotional state is becoming calm and strong.

John David Mann says everything you do reveals everything you are. If you pay attention to and are purposeful with the little things in life, you will bring about huge change. My husband is so skilled at doing this – he makes our bed every day, keeps our home neat and pleasing, and helps me stay organized. This inspires me to pay careful attention to the smaller details, too, which helps me confront the larger problems I face with bravery and a calm mind and heart. Mr. Mann says that making little gestures and taking time to discover new things about your partner everyday will help prevent entropy from taking hold of your relationship. My husband and I focus our energy on doing this daily, and I am grateful to hear that we are on the right track.

John David Mann speaks beautifully about relationships and how to have productive disagreements. Simply take a deep breath and make a choice when confronting opposition that is not anger based. My life coaching sessions with Dr. Paula are teaching me how to do exactly this. I am finding the wherewithal to take a breath and let my often momentary anger and frustration disperse before speaking or engaging in an argument. This episode reinforces the fact that we have no control over the people and events that surround us, but we do have complete control over how we handle ourselves. I have believed this to be true for some time, but I am now putting it into practice constantly, and it is improving everything.

Dr. Paula’s Coaching Response

Marian, I can tell how deeply John’s ideas resonated with you. He clearly has chosen to take his life in his own hands, make deep changes, learn how to create a loving and harmonious relationship, and live a life of meaning and joy. When someone makes that kind of commitment, they become a shining example.

We are all here on the earth plane to learn and grow. Some of us have harder lessons than others in this incarnation. I find comfort in my belief that I chose this path before I came to earth. When I accept responsibility for my choices, not blame, but responsibility, it changes everything because if I’m responsible for my responses to what has happened to me, I also have the ability to make new choices and change the quality of my life. I applaud you for taking responsibility and choosing to grow and heal.

I want to remind you of the 2 mantras/affirmations that I use every day to help me through the difficult times and to bring more love and peace into my day:

• I say these 2 sentences for 3 minutes silently over and over again every morning:

I am love as I am loved.

All is love as all is loved.

• I say this one over and over again for as long as I need it at any time of the day or night:

Peace in my mind

Peace in my body

Peace in my spirit

Peace in my soul

For Previous Shows Like This:

• Inner Peace Is Unstoppable with Corinne Zupko on March 15, 2018
• Survival, Sanity and Blessings of the California Blaze with Kac Young on April 12, 2018
• SpiritPoint: Balancing the Six Aspects of Life with Red “Daniel” Goldstein on April 19, 2018

FREE CHAPTER, THE ULTIMATE CREATIVE PROBLEM-SOLVING PROCESS, FROM MY BEST-SELLING BOOK, NOTHING BUT NET

To learn more about my unique process that removes hidden blockages, helps you solve your most challenging problems, and achieve success with ease and speed, sign up for my newsletter and receive the chapter as my gift: sign up here

CONTACT DR. PAULA TO SCHEDULE YOUR COMPLEMENTARY 10 MINUTE PHONE CONSULTATION

Dr. Paula, The Life Doctor, has helped hundreds of thousands of people improve their health, wealth and relationships through her writing, coaching, and speaking. Contact her today to get started on your personal journey. Recently Dr. Paula Joyce, PhD was chosen by Expertise as one of the 16 Best Life Coaches in Dallas.

Cell: (214) 208-3533

Email:  paula@paulajoyce.com

To learn more about Dr. Paula, please visit her website at www.paulajoyce.com.

To hear more shows from Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit, please click here.

In a recent episode of my radio show, Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit, Alison Chester-Lambert, M.A. shared some wonderful insights, like the fact that the 12 main Greek deities were composed of 6 men and 6 women. Not only was there gender balance, but there was also no judgment about sexual or gender preference. We have a lot we can learn from these deities about equality, empowerment of women and acceptance of and tolerance for all people. Alison emphasized the importance of the feminine resurgence that is occurring now. We have been in a time of scientific and technological revolution but not evolution. Women are claiming their power now, and it will manifest more fully around the year 2020, which will be a tipping point. I read Tarot and Alison’s Greek Mythology Reading Cards are my new favorite insight deck. They are beautiful and carry profound insights that we need today. As Janice, a regular listener, wrote: “What an interesting show. So empowering. And you sounded radiant.” To listen to this show, I encourage you to click here.

Dr. Paula’s Tip of the Week

My Tip from my e-book, 33 Tips for Self-Empowerment is: Ask yourself, Do I Need This? This is a good question to ask when you are on a tight budget. Pausing to ask the question and listening for the answer will help you make wise choices. It’s also a question to ask about anything, including people, experiences, and feelings. Sometimes we get into patterns and don’t realize how we are hurting ourselves. Asking a question and then listening deeply for the answer can help awaken us to the truth. Insight cards, like the Greek Mythology Reading Cards, give us direct advice that will help us make better decisions. When we are too close to a situation, it’s hard to see it from a new perspective. Our beliefs, judgments and what we think we know, can interfere with our ability to discern the truth about a particular situation or person. The cards draw upon ancient philosophical and spiritual wisdom to help us see beneath the surface. Our intuition, limitless higher self and connection to the cards direct us to the answers and information we need at any given moment.

Dr. Paula’s Silver Lining Story

Today’s silver lining story came to me in a letter from Kamille. She wrote:

When I began doing work for Dr. Paula, I was in the darkest place I’d ever been mentally. My mother, who I’d been very close to, had passed just months before after a very brief diagnosis of brain cancer. I could not have prepared myself for the emotions I would experience as a result. Right after she died, I turned to painting and drawing as an outlet and distraction. I saw at least 3 therapists and they all made me feel worse. The anxiety and pain were unbearable at times and I would either have difficulty sleeping, sometimes even breathing, or I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed.

Eventually, I spoke with Dr. Paula of my struggles and she gave me some incredible insight and resources on how to help myself heal and learn to have a new kind of relationship with my mom in the spiritual realm. I talk/pray to her, write to her, and still cry when I listen to her favorite songs. She is with me. Over time, Dr. Paula’s message has sunk in more and more and helped me tremendously. Everything we do and are is our choice. It takes our own effort and ability to learn from the wisdom and knowledge of those who are enlightened. It won’t happen overnight as it is a process of growth that is sometimes slow and at other times turbulent. I must have patience, celebrate even my tiniest victories, and focus on gratitude.

Even though I lost my mother earlier in life than I would have hoped, the silver lining is that I had a beautiful, kind-hearted and compassionate parent who loved and cared for me unconditionally. That inspires me to be a better mother to my son and carry on her philanthropy helping people and animals.

Thank you Dr. Paula 🙂

-Kamille

I was deeply touched by Kamille’s letter. We don’t always know the impact our words and actions have on people. Even if we see change in an individual, we can never be certain what brought about the change. I was very grateful to know I had had such a positive impact on

Kamille and her healing. I was also so appreciative of her mentioning the silver lining. I often say that no matter what the circumstance, we can always find a silver lining, and I give examples every week to help people see how to do that for themselves. But when someone sees the silver lining in the unexpected death of a beloved parent, I know my message is getting across. It’s immensely gratifying that what I’m doing on my radio show and in my conversations with people is making a difference in the quality of people’s lives. Thank you, Kamille, for the gift of this letter.

My silver lining is that all of the sadness and pain, fears and traumas in my life have led me to making the choice to be bitter, angry and miserable or to take charge of my life, find the silver linings and create a life of peace, joy and happiness. As a result of my own journey, I can help other people discover how to find the silver linings and bring more love and light into their lives. One of the suggestions I made to Kamille was to listen to some of my previous shows on the topics of communicating with those who have passed over, near death experiences and past lives. These shows strengthen our belief in and connection with the spiritual realm and provide techniques to help us communicate directly with our loved ones on the other side.

Marian Stephens’ Story

This week’s episode of Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit aired on the summer solstice, and the synchronicity that occurred is fascinating. Allison Chester-Lambert created The Greek Mythology Reading Cards to help people become more strongly connected to the spiritual realm. Dr. Paula and Allison both randomly picked the Iris card from the deck. Iris is the Greek Goddess of the rainbow and messenger of the Olympian Gods. It quickly became clear that this show has a powerful message for me. In my life coaching session with Dr. Paula this week, we discussed that it is imperative that I find my voice. I can express myself well with the written word, but I struggle with speaking my mind. This results in a great deal of bottled up anger and feeling stuck, which is frustrating. The show focuses on women finding their voice and becoming empowered, which is exactly what I needed to hear. Dr. Paula eloquently states that we can stand up to men, speak our minds, become powerful and still be feminine and women. This gives me the courage I need to navigate the difficult relationships I have with my older boys, and I am so grateful I am beginning to heal from the abusive relationships I have endured and am finding my true voice.

Dr. Paula asks listeners what challenges in life they need to see from a new perspective. My primary role in life is being a mother to four boys and a wife, so I need to discover and recover other aspects of myself to be well-rounded and able to handle the challenges I am facing with parenting more effectively. Looking at my relationship with my eldest son from the perspective of more than just his mother will enable me to help him find his way, and he will possibly begin to heal himself and discover a healthy path to follow. Having my identity solely wrapped up in mothering is not serving to teach my boys to be strong, kind, and healthy men. The more they begin to know and see me as an individual, the more they will begin to seek their individuality and discover their own passions.

Dr. Paula’s tip of the week is to ask yourself: Do I need this? I have been too focused on asking everyone around me what they need and very rarely asking myself what I need. I am going to purposely ask myself this question every time I have a choice or decision to make, and I think this will truly help me to build the life I want. This tip gives me guidance on how to find my voice and see that what I need is as important as everyone else’s needs.

Dr. Paula’s Coaching Response

Marian, the best gift you can give your children is your own healing. As we come fully into our own, our children see that it is safe to become fully who they are meant to be. As Numerologist Alice Rosen said in my January 11, 2018 show, the energies this year support us in speaking our truth. So you are in sync with the universal energies, which want you to express your true self with ease and self-confidence. It has been especially hard for women to be seen and heard. We have been told that our job is to support, nurture and facilitate the lives of others. Ironically, we can do that best if we take care of ourselves first. If the well is dry, we have nothing to give. Our wholeness will shine a light that helps others see their path clearly. Be a shining example of how to live a life fully. Do it for yourself and for your children. Selfish means being full of self. I encourage you to be full of yourself.

Previous Shows On the Topics of Insight Cards and The Awakening of the Feminine:

• What Your Conscious Mind Doesn’t Know with Cheryl Baird on April 16, 2015
• The Important Role of Women In the Buddha’s Life with Wendy Garling on December 1, 2016
• The Statue of Liberty: Goddess in the New World with Bob Hieronimus and Laura Cortner on October 13, 2016

FREE CHAPTER, THE ULTIMATE CREATIVE PROBLEM-SOLVING PROCESS, FROM MY BEST-SELLING BOOK, NOTHING BUT NET

To learn more about my unique process that removes hidden blockages, helps you solve your most challenging problems, and achieve success with ease and speed, sign up for my newsletter and receive the chapter as my gift: sign up here

CONTACT DR. PAULA TO SCHEDULE YOUR COMPLEMENTARY 10 MINUTE PHONE CONSULTATION

Dr. Paula, The Life Doctor, has helped hundreds of thousands of people improve their health, wealth and relationships through writing, coaching and speaking. Contact her today to get started on your personal journey. Recently Dr. Paula Joyce, PhD was recognized as one of the 16 Best Life Coaches in Dallas.

Cell: (214) 208-3533

Email:  paula@paulajoyce.com

To learn more about Dr. Paula, please visit her website at www.paulajoyce.com.

To hear more shows from Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit, please click here.

In a recent episode from my radio show, Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit,  my guest Jodee Prouse and I delve into the difficult and often painful topic of abuse. Please listen in order to become empowered and begin letting go of destructive relationships. In today’s blog, in addition to my tip of the week and my silver lining story, Marian Stephens shares how she is using the information in this episode to change her life. All my previous blogs are on my website, paulajoyce.com, and the first two posts with Marian’s Story went up last week. Be sure to check them out and follow Marian’s progress.

Dr. Paula’s Tip of the Week

One of the most difficult answers to give in life is often: NO. Sometimes our inner voice whispers “no”, sometimes it bellows “no”, however it is often our nature to disregard our first instinct. Use this tip to begin to take control of your needs and wants; doing so will only bring you closer to your higher self.

Your tip for the week from my e-book, 33 Tips for Self-Empowerment. I wrote this book because when you are self-empowered, you are connected to your limitless higher self, your soul, your intuition, your gut feelings, your guidance. Our limitless higher self is the wiser part of ourselves, the part that knows the Truth of who we are. Our logical mind is so loud, however, that it often drowns out the whisper that is trying to guide us on our authentic path. As you learn to listen to the still small voice within, you will begin to feel at peace. Because your limitless higher self has direct access to the Divine, it is through this connection that miracles occur, like unexpected healing, healthy relationships, peace and wealth. This connection gives you an inner foundation of love, which eliminates fear. It is through this love that you can heal the planet and yourself and make the shift into the 4th dimension. Our higher self helps us find safety and even save our own life and others’ lives. We must train ourselves to trust our higher self and never go against it. Don’t talk yourself out of something that feels right to you or let what others say or think influence what you do. Please use these tips. Strengthen Your Boundaries: Learning to say NO to what you do not want in your life is one of the most important things that you can do for yourself. Avoid acting when you hear the words “I should” and “I must”. Take action when you hear the words “I want to.” Many of us, especially women, have been raised to believe that we are responsible for everyone else’s happiness and success. We have been taught to put our own needs and desires last. To do anything else would be selfish. I remember watching my mother take her food last and to only refill her plate after everyone else had eaten their fill. I learned to do the same. No words had to be spoken. I observed what a mother was supposed to do. I also watched as she and her sister enabled their two alcoholic brothers. Neither sister was able to face the truth of their brothers’ alcoholism. One brother died of cirrhosis of the liver, although my aunt insisted that his death was due to bad medical care. The other brother was a binge alcoholic and during his sober spells, my mother would be convinced that he was not an alcoholic even though he always went back to drinking. The sisters cooked for the brothers, took care of them and put up with the rage and abuse thrown at them because that’s what family does. I learned from them to put up with way too much for way too long in my own family. I learned to live with false hope until I finally realized that if I didn’t take care of myself and set boundaries, nothing would ever change. I acknowledged that I couldn’t save them, but I could save me. That became my new goal. I vowed to change the family pattern by changing myself and showing the rest of the family, by example, that they, too, could make different choices and save their own lives. This was not a selfish choice in the negative sense of the word. It was a hard choice that was not welcomed by the other family members. Some stopped talking to me and others are still angry with me after 13 years. Breaking dysfunctional family patterns takes courage, strength and commitment. What keeps me going is the joy of the life I have now and the hope that my choices will inspire others to break away and create the life they deserve.

Dr. Paula’s Silver Lining Story

Abuse is an epidemic in the United States – a crime against humanity. By shedding light on the dynamics of abuse, empowering survivors with good self-help tips, and pointing survivors towards professionals who can help heal the damage they have endured, the cycle of abuse can be stopped in its tracks.

The legacy of abuse is a hard one, and at least half of the population has or will experience abuse in their lifetime. Sometimes it’s one incident and sometimes it’s on-going. The challenge for the victim is to wake up to the truth, give up false hope and expand the compassion they have for everyone else to themselves.  Some of us are so busy trying to save other people that we don’t notice that we are the collateral damage.

My silver lining is that having gone through this process myself, I now get the joy of helping other people shed their pain and old ways of thinking and reacting and move to a place of self-love and healthy boundaries. This week one of my clients reached the point where she was finished being present for her family’s abuse. She has accepted that nothing she says or does will change their behavior toward her. The healthier she became and the stronger her boundaries became, the louder and crueler her family became until the entire extended family rallied around her abusive brother, shunning her and making her out to be the abuser. Her silver lining is that it got so big and outlandish that she was able to see the truth and remove herself from the drama. Now she can refocus her energy where it belongs, on herself, letting go of the pain, healing her heart and creating a life with purpose.

Marian Stephens’ Story

I anticipated this episode would be difficult to listen to because I am a survivor of domestic violence, but, instead, I found myself uplifted with a renewed sense of purpose. I was not in the abusive relationship for a prolonged period, but long enough to be life altering. The details are unimportant, but leaving the relationship meant moving myself and three (soon to be four) kids in with my parents. While I have done a great deal of healing, I still struggle with guilt. The guilt I feel is multifaceted and, at times, endless. I primarily feel guilty I exposed my kids to abusive behavior. Even though I know guilt is toxic and not truth, I still let it weigh heavily on me. I think if I can allow myself to let go of the guilt – maybe by transferring the feeling of guilt to one of regret as proposed in the episode – I can progress in my healing process.

In this episode Dr. Paula asks listeners: Think about something you are doing that you feel you “should” be doing but is actually hurting you. I feel like I should be able to do everything for my kids. I attempt to, and it is detrimental to my health. It is also hurting my relationship with my children. I feel beholden to them, and they feel resentful when I drop the ball. I realize after today’s episode I have felt so guilty that I am compensating by assuming most household responsibilities. As if I can erase what happened by making their lives as easy as possible.

A theme of today’s show is that each person is responsible for their own life. Even children. This helps me see that I am doing a disservice to myself and my children by denying them responsibility. We are in our own home now, so this is an opportunity to correct this imbalance. I want to empower my boys – to teach them how to navigate life with confidence. In trying to make them feel completely taken care of, I am stripping them of their ability to learn and grow – their autonomy. I can begin to give them each more responsibility and watch them blossom.

I regret that my kids and I had to endure such a traumatic experience. But, I want, need, to break free from the guilt. My purpose is to ensure that my boys grow into adults that would never abuse another person or repeat the behavior they saw. Forgiving myself for all that happened is no easy task, but to not is to never truly move past it. The support Dr. Paula gives her listeners gives me the courage to continue to find forgiveness for myself, to become more introspective, and to make real change.

Dr. Paula’s Response to Marian

I’m impressed with your self-awareness and commitment. When you feel guilt or regret, you can release that energy by:

• asking yourself: What did I learn? How have I grown? How do I do things differently now? How can I do them even better next time?
• focusing on self-respect for the courage and strength you have to leave abuse and be a good role model for your children.
• having self-compassion and forgiveness for the younger you who didn’t know any better. Love yourself.

Remember, we are all here on earth to learn and to grow in love and compassion, including self-compassion.

For more shows on healing from abuse, and trauma, please listen to:

• Healing Familial Trauma with Beilah Ross
• From Charm to Harm with Amy Lewis Bear
• Yes, Boys Must Cry with Gus B. Kaufman, Jr.

FREE CHAPTER, THE ULTIMATE CREATIVE PROBLEM-SOLVING PROCESS, FROM MY BEST-SELLING BOOK, NOTHING BUT NET

To learn more about my unique process that removes hidden blockages, unleashes your creativity and helps you solve your most challenging problems, sign up for my newsletter and receive the chapter as my gift: http://paulajoyce.com/wpsite/newsletter-sign-up/